Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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