plz talk dirty to me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
