Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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