WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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