So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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