Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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