I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
