Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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