Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
