those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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