Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
