in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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