Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
