I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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