Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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