Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
