If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
