i don't like sucking hair
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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