So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
