Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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