return my video game
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
