i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
