Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
