My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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