Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
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Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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