Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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