Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
