We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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