Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
