On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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