Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
