I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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