You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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