you traded sex for a burrito?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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