I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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