D3 body, D1 cock
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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