its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
