Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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