oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Randomize