Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
