If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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