he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
