on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing