I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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