you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that