question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.