so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
