so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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