i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
FUCK WHALES
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
