Only a mothe r could love this liver
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
