You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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