so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
