you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
