y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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