I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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