$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
