I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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