Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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